Bundle Of Addictions

SLEEPING

GAMBLING

SEX

COCAINE

That is my bundle of addictions

SLEEPING

GAMBLING

SEX

COCAINE

In order of impact on my life too.

Perhaps they are interrelated.

Sex and cocaine make me inevitably tired.

Cocaine should make me want to fuck (but, the opposite is true).

Gambling is just randomly thrown in there

SLEEPING

GAMBLING

SEX

COCAINE

I embrace my addictions.

They balance each other out.

And make me the unique individual I am.

They work together.

We all have bundles of addictions I believe.

Exercise, Religion, Shopping?

Shopping, Working, Relationships?

Internet, Pornography, Eating?

Eating, Weed, Video games?

What is in YOUR bundle of addictions?

Attorney By The Numbers

2006: Year KCL graduated law school
48: Number of resumes KCL has sent out in last two months
4: Number of interviews
42: Number of PRACTICING attorney jobs KCL has applied to in last two months
0 Number of PRACTICING attorney job interviews KCL has gone on
$40,000 The amount that was posited as starting salary for practicing attorney during recent phone screening
$150,000 The amount of law school debt KCL carries

People thing lawyers have it easy. Think again. Only the top students from the top school live a decent life. If I had known truth I'd never have gone to law school. The bright side though, legal temporary work is abundant....if not mind-numbing, and pays in the $35-$55/hour range. Bad news, no benefits.

I really should have been a stripper!

Uninspired

Been feeling uninspired to write.

Then the guilt sets in.

I SHOULD have something to write about

I SHOULD feel creative

I SHOULD be inspired

But I'm not.

The truth is, I've been feeling kind of down the last few days.

My best friend and I had a falling out a few weeks ago, and I'm starting to miss her.

Been doing a lot of reevaluation of my life too.

But, alas, no revelations, epiphanies, conclusions, or resolutions of any sort.

If life is a journey, I must be on the mud road overlooking the swamp land

Fortunately, soon I'm apt to arrive at the beach

Where there will be:

Cold drinks

Hot Men

Naked Chicks

Gratuitous sex

And a lot more to write about.

A Horse in Zebra Striped Pajamas

I saw a zebra one day.....
It may have been a horse in its pajamas....
But I'm pretty sure it was a zebra...
Tough to find zebra-striped pajamas in that size.

During the winter of 2000, I met a man, and we quickly fell in love. I was married, he was married...everything was new. Alas, it lasted only a few months until I ended it, came clean to my husband, and made a resolution to save my marriage.

Fast-forward seven years. I have been divorced coming on four years in April. Married man is still.....MARRIED. And under the false pretense that he is still in love with me.

I keep him at arms length...allow him to see me three or four times a year. He is a great guy, but we are polar-opposites. We would never fit into each other's lives. I provide a great distraction from his 250 pound wife who is always in a bad mood and stopped giving him oral sex in 1993.

But, alas, he is the V.P. of a Fortune 500 company and a local politician, and I am a free spirited Kinky Catholic Lawyer.

Here are excerpts from a recent conversation between Kinky Catholic Lawyer (KCL) and Married Man (MM)

MM: I'm leaving my wife soon, so we can run away together.
KCL: You are NEVER leaving...you have been saying this every six months or so for the last eight years
MM: No, really, this time I'm leaving. WE are going to run away together and I'm going to take care of you until you grow old.
KCL: I don't WANT you to take care of me. MM, you can get any woman you want. You make more money than GOD, you are gorgeous...once you leave your wife, which I know you never will, go find a malleable 20 year old hottie who you can mold.
MM: But I want you.
KCL: You do not really want me, you want an idealized image of me.
MM: No, I want you
KCL: We'd never fit into each others lives.
MM: Yes we would
KCL: Your image is so important to you, and I will NEVER adopt societal norms.
MM: I love you anyway
KCL: No, you do not love me, you just love the idea of me.
MM: No, I love you. Plus, KCL, you are a lawyer now. Like it or not you need to grow up and start worrying about societal norms
KCL: I'm not changing. And we are not getting into this again!


On another front, last month I met a man, Photographer, who I do feel could be woven in quite nicely to the tapestry of my life. He actually reminds me a lot of myself. I still can't figure out what turns me on more, the way he kisses me or the way it feels when our thoughts collide.

Time shall tell though whether he is a zebra, or a horse in zebra pajamas.

"Short Tales"

tall tale
noun
an improbable (unusual or incredible or fanciful) story
short tale
noun
the opposite of tall tale

I am the teller of "short tales"

I just find myself in very unusual, bizarre, erotic, dysfunctional, odd, extraordinary situations.

Like on a daily basis.

These stories usually begin something like:

"You are never going to believe this, but last night..."

And I get the feeling

Noone ever believes me.

So I have this blog.

I believe ANYTHING can happen in life..

Once you just LET GO

let go of your insecurities

let go of societal judgments

let go of religiously-imputed (and arbitrary) morals

let go of your fears

And let life happen.

Friday night I am sitting in an empty warehouse turned artist commune in a city ninety miles away from my house.

Staring at women in string bikinis doing acrobatics with hula hoops

And men dressed in leather, leading around women in dog collars

And I turned to the man next to me and said:

"No one would believe this, even if I told them"

Later I laid on a dirty mattress on the ground

As strangers licked liquor off my nipples.

Life happens

Once you let yourself go

Would you like to come along for the ride with me?

Identity Crisis

I just looked in the mirror, and asked myself, who are you, Kinky Cath0lic Lawyer?

The devote and loving mother that had a "breakfast date" with your lovely daughter this morning
OR
The drug-induced party-girl that ingested enough narcotics to sustain a Columbian Drug-Lord for a week last night?

The wanton dirty little whore who begs to have her hair pulled
OR
The scared little girl that only wants to be held safely all night?

The brilliant attorney, who managed to get through law school, as a single mother. and against all odds
OR
The not-so brilliant attorney who has been manging her cash-flow so poorly that she came home to no water last week?

Am I:
A druggie?
A dirty little whore?
A Goddess on my knees?
Just too scared?
Just too brave?
Just too independent?
Just too lonely?
Just too lost to know what I want anymore?
An enigma?
A swinger?
A lawyer?
No more than a product of my sexually abusive childhood?
A sex-addict?
A bi-sexual?
A survivor?

Or is it possible that I am all of the above?

AND THAT IS JUST FINE?

Inspiration

Inspiration can come from many places:
Daily life experiences
Music
Art
Literature
Your parents
Your children
That 3rd hit of acid
That 4th orgasm
That 5th Grey Goose Martini
Your idols
Your enemies
Your lovers
Your friends
Strangers
Bad experiences
Good experiences

And today I feel inspired
Inspired to write
Inspired to vent
Inspired to share
Inspired to evolve

A combination of the above has inspired me to write again. Cheaper than therapy, healthier than cocaine.

And my life is too rich of beautifully random and bizarre experiences not to share.

I hope to share my inspiration....